If I were an apple this is how I’d feel…
If I were an apple this is how I’d feel…
…or in other words a pictoral reflection of my currently changing moods.
From LEFT to RIGHT
A. Fresh, new, juicy, delicious, magnificently edible. It’s insides perfect and wonderful in every way.
B. Loosing it’s freshness somewhat but still edible. It’s insides starting to degenerate.
C. Not something you’d want to eat, nor look at for very long. It’s insides are becoming mush.
D. You’d throw this away, wouldn’t you? It’s insides are beyond mushy, they’re just goo.
E. It’s dead, it is a deceased apple, it’s life lost and pointless. The goo is seeping onto the floor.
F. Definitely (and in every conceivable way) a deceased apple.
You see last night, brimming with alcohol induced mania I was definitely A!
Tonight I’m somewhere between E and F.
And with that cheery thought I shall bid you a goodnight because I’m going to bed.
Maybe tomorrow I’ll manage to claw my way to C or D.
Who the hell knows anymore?
June 17th, 2008 at 7:13 am
I’ve been reading your blog for a short while. I didn’t think i could leave a comment before because i thought i would just sound silly but I wanted to say I honestly think you’re a inspirational person who has been through a lot and the amount of awareness work you have done is truly amazing .
I hope you feel better soon.
June 18th, 2008 at 12:29 am
I began reading your blog the other night - you right fantastic stuff! I just want you to know that I really feel your pain my friend. I guess we both know that by blogging we can release a lot of it. As far as this post goes I think that it has great meaning, when I am feeling good I am alive like Apple “A, when I am feeling down it’s just like Apple “F”. Great post - take care and feel good!
June 18th, 2008 at 12:24 pm
Elliot:
You are the second person this week to call me inspirational, thank you :) It’s quite difficult for me to believe the compliments I receive (an unfortunate effect of the emotional abuse has made it all but impossible to trust people) but it means so much to me to hear them all the same. I never set out to be an inspiration, I just wanted other people to be more aware of what happens in the world which they may not see, and what needs an awful lot more publicity; i.e. mental health and it’s damaging effects. Again, thank you for your comment :) Don’t worry about feeling silly, the majority of stuff I write makes me look like a prat - but at least I’m an inspiring prat from time to time :)
Scott:
Once more, thank you :) Blogging does help me release, a reason why I began writing this blog after initially deciding to end it a couple of months ago. It helps to have somewhere to come and prattle on about whatever I feel like, regardless of whether anyone reads it. I was feeling bloody terrible on Saturday night and things happened after that post which I haven’t written about yet, not quite sure how, maybe I will soon. Right now I’m feeling a little better, still quite down, but I’m getting there.