International Mens Health Week: 9 - 15 June 2008
How many of you knew it was International Men’s Health week?
Be honest now, don’t go…ahhh, yes, I knew that, of course I did. Honesty rules ok, so start using it - else I’ll start scolding, and you won’t like it when I start scolding!
I’ll start, I didn’t actually realise what the week was until today. I should have done and I have duly scolded myself for not being aware of this sooner. So now I’m allowed out of the corner I thought I’d jump on this wee blog o’mine and tell all of you people what I found out.
I bet half of you don’t even care, I mean there are SOOOOoooooooo many “international weeks of this” or “international days of that” these days that quite often a single week has several different things attached to it. Then there’s each specific country having his/her own specific “week of this” or “week of that” that most of us just give up and go eat a Belgium waffle. And why not, Belguim waffle’s are good (damn good) far more orgasmically exciting than thinking about the fact that male suicide often out-numbers female suicide by four to one.
That’s not important is it, not in the scheme of waffle related orgasms.
Now being a man I know from personal experience that I never used to want to admit to being sick, or ill, or anything really that showed my weaknesses. If I had a cold then I just struggled through. Back in the days when I used to work full time I would crawl into work feeling like utter shit rather than admit that I actually needed to go and see a Doctor, even when I had glandular fever last year I struggled on through work, college, trips, hikes, horserides and the like rather than just rest and allow myself time to recover from an illness which could in fact kill me! I wasn’t worried about that because the waffle as substitute for sex society in which we live doesn’t allow men to admit they sick; they’re ostracised if they do, from relationships, social circles and society in general. Even when I was diagnosed with cancer last year I didn’t tell anyone (although granted I tried to) because of the whole - a weak man is not a man argument which was thrown at me - but then we’ve covered that ground before. Men just aren’t allowed to be weak these days, a la, they’re not allowed to be sick, a la, men’s health is not important.
But it is!
I learned earlier on this week that someone I know in the UK - a man - suffered a stroke (a mini-stroke to be exact as it turned out) but a stroke is a stroke in anyone’s book and that’s bloody serious! The first thought on this man’s was not how he needed to be in hospital, but that he needed to drive to Bristol the following day to deliver an item which had been sold on Ebay…ummm, priorities :) The thing is he is actually also pretty young and in the long term this may possibly have been avoided.
I guess my point is one I’ve covered before, which is that men should not be made to feel weak for having an illness. It’s bloody ridiculous in this day in age, that men are still being made to feel they cannot admit or talk about both physical and mental illnesses which are bothering them in order to make themselves ‘more desireable’ for the opposite sex.
To put it another way; would the women out there prefer to receive their sexual gratification from the delicious delights of a Belgium waffle (and I’m sure many are thinking “Orgasm merely from eating a Belgium waffle, if it were only that easy!”) or would you prefer to be snuggled up in bed with your honey having wild nights of romping fun with something which actually breathes and feels and emotes and thinks about your pleasure (and yes, that sort of man does exist before you say otherwise)?
If you answer Yep, I would much prefer the waffle!
Well then, prepare for a scolding!
If you answer I would actually much much prefer my man.
Well then, how long has it been since he went to the GP for a check up? Maybe it’s time to go.
And for the men out there - physical or mental health concerns? - it really doesn’t take much to go see a Doctor.
So have a wee think this week about your health. Any nagging pains, aches, frustrations or worries. Maybe now’s the time to get it checked out - before that stroke (or other long term, possibly terminal, condition) bites you on the ass instead of your partner.
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June 15th, 2008 at 5:13 am
Ok. It doesn’t take much to go to a doctor. Except:
Money (or decent health insurance)
Time
Trust in the medical establishment
and, most importantly, enough self-esteem to realize that you are worth being cared for, and that you aren’t wasting your money, time, or trust.
So. What do you do when you see this guy decaying slowly, and he knows it, and you know it, and he knows you know it, and you suggest he go to a doctor, and he says no. You give him repeated nudges, and he says he doesn’t have the time (even though he was just bitching about how he doesn’t get enough hours at his job), or the money (even though he’s talking about buying new computer components), and points out that doctors don’t know shit (even though they sometimes do).
What if the guy in question is not really “yours” and you’re kind of on the periphery of his life, but you love him and get the impression you’re the only person paying attention. How much can you interfere? How hard can you push?
And what if society hasn’t ostracized him so much as he has withdrawn from it? What if he’s made everyone around him feel rejected, because he actively rejects them? How much can you assert yourself in someone’s life before they shut you out completely?
How much can a girl nag before he starts to remind him of his mother?
Where is that line, between the need to respect his autonomy and the necessity of assertive action?
Seriously, what do you guys want?
I’d be interested to know if anyone in your life asked you to see a doctor, and if you resisted them, and why, and why you finally changed your mind. This issue has been the torment of my winter and spring, and will probably continue…all of the advice I’ve seen about “get your loved one to a mental health professional” is nice, but I haven’t seen much about how that is accomplished…especially from a distance.
June 18th, 2008 at 12:17 pm
Hi Ms B.
I’m thinking long and hard at the moment to see if I can come up with an example to your question and in all honesty the only initial reaction I can come up with was in regards to my glandular fever.
When I started getting sick I knew I was getting sick, and because my girlfriend at the time had this illness I kindof knew what it was so when it was suggested to me to go see a doctor, have some tests done to confirm/deny my own diagnosis I was hesitant to - partly because of the cost aspect of seeing doctor’s here in Australia; plus it was Christmas time and a lot was needing to be done.
Eventually though after a bit of nagging I relented to seeing a docotor because I thought it would be best to confirm my own diagnosis and just make sure that it wasn’t anything else more serious.
As a result this visit to the doctor was actually what instigated my eventual CLL diagnosis in addition to glandular fever, so as it turned out this trip allowed a far more serious illness to show through - so it was good I did change my mind.
I guess to respond to the rest of your comment. It’s true that all the advice about going to see a doctor is great but also in a way pointless, and if it weren’t for all the factors you pointed out (cost, time, trust etc) more people would probably do it. There’s also the fear of doctors which a lot of people suffer from. There’s no real solution to this unfortunately, no matter how much “encouraging” or “nagging” you end up doing the only person who can make you see a doctor is yourself.
I do believe there is a large portion of society which continues to instill the “man is weak if they admit an illness of any sort” which is what I would like to see eroded. However I don’t have any magic spells up my sleeve to help this, I wish I did.
If I come up with anything I’ll be sure to let you know :)
What do other people think? Any thoughts or personal experiences?