Overcoming Mental Illness

Well, now that it’s finally over, how was everyone’s Christmas?

I can honestly tell you that mine included:

• Sweet FA in the way of presents (not surprised)
• In terms of electronic wishes - three - one ecard, one email (a few days before Christmas) and one Facebook wall message. A big thank you to those people :-)
• Utter frustration that I was unable to view the Dr Who 2007 Christmas special.
• Two instances of self-harm (at approx 11pm and 1am last night) which has left me rather sore this morning as the 1am instance was rather ‘OTT’ shall we say.
• At least five hours of crying; including one two hour session in the middle of the afternoon.
• Feeling completely useless, worthless and a complete failure in every avenue of life.

Just your standard, run-of-the-mill Christmas then!

It was hard for me because of my memories of last Christmas. After travelling and emigrating I had not had a Christmas with my parents for seven years, and last year I got to spend Christmas with them. It was wonderful! We exchanged presents, chilled out in Melbourne, wasted an almighty $10 at the casino and watched Happy Feet at the cinema. Even though I didn’t get to spend Christmas with my girlfriend (she was with her own family) I was still able to speak to her and receive Christmas wishes from someone, as well as have drinks with friends in the evening following my day with my parents.

Which in contrast to this year - depressed suicidal cravings, complete loneliness and a knife and belt from Santa - was somewhat the perfect Christmas!

So here I sit on Boxing Day, reflecting on my wasted life, chatting and conversing with Meadhbh (who is driving me insane) and not really doing anything because I can’t actually move some parts of my body easily.

Seasonal Depression is a sad fact of life and can affect even those who are not already suffering from a mental illness. This seasonally affected disorder can wreak havoc for those not already coping. I, for one, am glad that this day has finally passed and once again am left hoping that next year the world will once again start remembering what the true spirit of Christmas is actually about - but as I’ve been hoping this for many years now, feel that once again I will be left disappointed by the ever growing apathetic society which the world is slowly becoming.

I truly hope that your Christmas was a lot more enjoyable than mine, and that everyone managed to survive it safetly and harmlessly…and don’t even ask about New Years next week! I don’t even want to think about that just yet!